It does what it says on the tin, this is a collection of the foulest, rudest, snappiest, wittiest, stop-you-in-your-tracks put downs you’ve ever seen and heard.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you, the language in this is really foul.
And if you like that, you’ll like The 25 Best Put Downs Ever… and Malcolm Tucker – a collection of the best, most foul-mouthed put downs ever
I can’t remember where I heard this story – probably through my parent network – but it’s a priceless example of how children can say the funniest things.
At nursery school a teacher is supervising the children’s activities. She spots a little girl who’s very earnestly scribbling away with crayons, and asks what she’s doing.
‘I’m drawing God,’ says the child.
The teacher is a bit surprised. ‘But no-one knows what God looks like,’ she says.
Without even looking up from her drawing the little girl replied: ‘They will in a minute.’
A friend told me this story about an exchange that took place over a game of Trivial Pursuit he was playing with his in laws. I have never, till now, been able to test its veracity (so if you’ve heard this one before do let us know). Whatever it’s status it’s very funny.
Questioner: Who was the first man on the Moon?
First sister: Uri Geller.
Second sister: Don’t be ***king stupid. It was Louis Armstrong.